I hope my future spouse says this to me when I am in labor
If you pull me on your lap there is a 101% chance I’m going to make out with you.
*looks up zodiac compatibility with fave* *sees that we’re not compatible* *throws rock at sky* fuck you fake bitch
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too. Pablo Neruda (via flction)
when your friend starts telling an embarrassing story about you